Highs and Lows

I’m too high. Not at this particular moment (ok, maybe slightly), but, in general, I’ve reached my too high point. My too high isn’t related to the over-consumption of a couple blunts, or weekend marathoning, but to the general state I’ve been in for months attributed to my consistent, disproportionate enjoyment of weed. I’m foggy. I’m dulling. I’m losing something in my essence that I can’t quite put my finger on but I know it’s dwindling and it’s likely because I’m too high.

I’ve been here before—more than I care to admit. I get here often. This is due to my affinity for excess and most often, if not always, prompts cold turkey quitting of something or another. I have to do it. I have to cut whatever that thing is that does whatever it does to cause me to get too anything.

I eat a Blow Pop today; I’d like 2 tomorrow and 3 the next day. I get what I like to call a “sugar bump” by Day 4 which prompts me to quit on day 5 only to return by Day 15. It is my cycle.

I’m afraid it may be cannabis quitting time. Note that this quit is temporary—30 days max, so, it’s more like a hiatus. I will use this hiatus to clear up—to reconnect with my thoughts, my words, my essence, my vibe, all things lying dormant beneath the fog. If I remain loyal to history I will complete this hiatus rejuvenated. I will wonder if my natural high has taken me higher than any blunt has ever done before. I will grow curious and test the hypothesis. I will be disappointed after my first hit of smoke to cleared lungs. I will sink slowly, lowly, in hopes of getting higher. I will proclaim that my natural high seemed a little more elevated, yet I will hit the blunt again to be sure. I will continue to do so until I am too high that I am low again. I will quit cold turkey and repeat.

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